Wrestling treacle
Yesterday Mr Postie arrived with a package for me. It was a “light tent” I’d bought on eBay for photographic purposes. It’s basically a bendy wire frame, covered with a nylon type material that diffuses light, and also, with the provided backdrops, provides a plain covered backdrop for photographing objects and eBay items etc.
The particular model I got was 80cm x 80cm x 80cm, and when I put it up (simple enough to do), I was very surprised at the size of the thing. I somehow didn’t expect it to be quite as big as it is! I’m sure you could comfortably house a family of four in there…
Anyway, it comes with four different coloured ‘backdrops’ (i.e. coloured bits of nylon material) and instructions on how to put it down for storage. It goes from this rather large square shape, to a round shape approximately 30cm in diameter for storing in the provided case. Now according to the instructions, it’s simple to collapse for storage. It’s not. It’s like wrestling treacle.
Getting it into a flat state is relatively easy, where you have a flat 80cm x 80cm shape (though I ended up with two bits of fabric flapping about on either side that are two sides of the cube when it’s in cube state which resolutely refused to stay tucked in. After getting it into the flat state though comes the tricky bit. According to the instructions, holding one edge of the square, the top edge, you roll this top edge forwards towards the bottom edge, and while you’re doing that, due to the wire frame, two ‘loops’ begin to appear on either side, which while holding on to the two edges you’ve rolled towards each other you’re supposed to twist and pull in towards the centre. Repeat on the other side, and you end up with a flat shape around 30cm in diameter, ready for stowing in the provided cover. Easy!
It probably would be with a degree in engineering, and a couple of pairs of spare hands, but as it is, it’s like wrestling treacle! You roll one edge towards the other edge, which is the fairly simple bit, but even this step is fraught with danger, because being wire framed and rather springy, if you let go of the damned thing, the top edge springs up and hits you squarely on the nose. I learned this from experience unfortunately. Having rolled edge A towards edge B there are indeed two loops that form; one on each side, with the wire frame bending into a circular shape. At this point you’re supposed to twist the left hand loop in an anti-clockwise direction and then fold it inwards, while still keeping hold of the two edges you’ve rolled together. Letting go of any of the bits at this stage is extremely dangerous, because if you do, the wire being bent into shapes it doesn’t naturally want to go into, is liable to spring apart and again hit you squarely on the nose!
Meanwhile, while you’re holding two edges together, and the loop on the left that you’ve just pulled inwards, leaving you with a weird shape with so many sides and curved edges I’ve no idea what you’d call such a shape, you’re supposed to do the same with the loop on the right side, twisting it and pulling it inwards, while swearing profusely (that wasn’t in the instructions, but I did it anyway), and the whole thing’s supposed to collapse into the round shape for storing in the bag. The problem is that quite apart from flaps of fabric appearing everywhere that refuse to stay tucked in, meanwhile you’re still supposed to be holding all those edges together and twisting loops, which is why a couple of pairs of extra hands would come in pretty useful, and being wire-framed and not liking being bent into strange new positions, you only have to take the pressure off one bit and the whole thing morphs itself into a flat but now rather curved and bent square shape again. Repeat this step around half a dozen times.
By this stage I’d been trying to get the damned thing down for around 15 minutes and I was beginning to think that maybe just storing it in the square flat state was for the best, but was determined I wasn’t going to be beaten by a bit of wire and some nylon. Those things though could be marketed as a full body workout with the amount of energy needing to be expended to get the damned thing into its collapsed circular state. When I did finally get it into the circular state I’m sure it was a pure fluke, after experimenting with various permutations of holding onto two edges and twisting loops in new and interesting directions. I’d put the thing on the bed so that I was at least working at a sensible height, and at one point resorted to keeping the two edges and a loop held together by firmly plonking a knee on them so I had hands free for the twisting the loops bit. I’ve no idea now quite how I finally did manage to get it into the circular state, but the whole thing must have taken me around half an hour. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what happened and where the bits popped up from when I first took it out of the bag…
