Gatecrashers inside my head
My apologies for the recent absence of Rachel, but for now you’re stuck with me, Bliss, on account of Rachel’s brain having taken an unscheduled vacation. It’s a little difficult to tell the difference sometimes…
Anyhow, here I am, at long last ready to re-commence work on “Fallen Angel”, and what happens? A couple of gatecrashers take up residence in my head! That’s what happens!
There I was at work the other week, quietly minding my own business and eating my sandwiches, when out of no-where these two gatecrashers appear in my head. No introductions, no “Nice to meet you”, they just waltzed in there like they own the place!
Fortunately as it was lunch time everyone else was out of the office, because otherwise they’d have thought I was crazy. There I was, eating my coronation chicken sandwich and trying to update some records on the system without getting coronation chicken all over the keyboard, when these two muppets appear out of no-where, make themselves at home, and start up a conversation.
So there I am, in the middle off the office, thinking I must be going slightly crazy, because having two complete strangers wandering around in your head (only they’re not complete strangers because they’ve been wandering around there in the shadows for a while now and I’ve been trying to ignore them, but I digress) is not quite normal really.
By this time I’d given up any hope of trying to do any work, and fortunately I’d finished my sandwich. I ended up sitting with my head in my hands, with my hands over my ears, talking out loud to them. The conversation went something like this:
Me: PLEASE guys, keep it down will ya? I’m trying to work here!
Muppet #1: Huh? You talking to us?
Me: Well unless anyone else has taken up residence in my head, yeah, I’m talking to you!
Muppet #2: [whispers something to Muppet #1 who starts giggling]
Me: And you can cut that out too!
Muppet #1: Sorry, we’ll try and keep it down.
…I try to do some more work, and a few minutes later obviously I’ve become invisible again because now the conversation’s even louder and they’re laughing uproariously at something and I’m not in on the joke (though from the near empty bottle of whiskey at the side of them I’m guessing they’re drunk)…
Me: Guys!
Muppet #1: Sorry, we’ll [giggle] try and [uncontrollable laugher]
Me: Just come back tonight! I don’t care how late, but I NEED to get this finished, so just give me a break, huh?
Of course the end result is that they’re louder and more demanding than Kerry and Finn and co. and they’re demanding that I write about them first. Naturally Kerry and Finn and co. are none too impressed by this news, but when they’re real and they’re in your head, you just have to write about them (especially when they’ve rather conveniently mapped out the story and told you the ending). Finn just shrugs, but from Kerry I get one of those looks, the ones that proceed World War 3 starting up in my head. When Kerry gets pissed off the result isn’t pretty. The good news is that the gatecrashers aren’t asking for a full blown novel to be writen about them; they’re quite happy with a short story, which at least means that if I’m lucky I won’t have to endure Kerry sulking for too long.
Why do these characters suddenly take it upon themselves to invite themselves into my head? I have a theory, but I’ll save that one for another day. In the meantime I shall sellotape my eyes shut and stick some cotton wool in my ears tonight when I go to bed in the hope of stopping any more damned gatecrashers getting in while I’m not looking. It’s getting far too damned crowded in there!
